Last month I talked about two aspects of body image.  In accepting myself, I wrestled with maintaining a positive self image in spite of life's ups and downs.   Adorning myself dealt with boosting self-esteem with head-to-toe makeovers.  Ultimately, self-acceptance comes from within.  This series details  my checklist for an inside-out makeover.

#1.  Get strong.

First on my list is strength.  In my experience, getting strong is the most important thing I can do to shape my attitude.  Somehow a set of strong, competent muscles has an amazing effect on my psyche.  As if a sturdy internal framework fortifies my very spirit.  I'm talking about more than a daily walk.  My suggestion is good old fashioned variations of crunches or planks, tricep extensions and lunges.  Fancy equipment and gym memberships are not required.  Start slow and be consistent.  You will feel so empowered by your progress!

The first time I remember using strength to bolster my spirit was 2007.  My younger child was a senior and I felt terrified by the inevitable empty nest.  I decided to enter the Danskin Women's Triathlon.  It was an athletic goal beyond anything I'd ever done but why not set my sights high?  Indeed.  I hadn't run in a couple of years.  It had been 10 years since I'd been on my bike.  And not only had I never learned the crawl, it had been 20 years since I'd done anything in a pool besides float.  Other than these minor obstacles I figured I'd be good.  It certainly took my mind off losing my baby.  In return for pushing my limits I gained an awareness of my own strength that will last my lifetime.

My mother was an amazing example of strength.  She took Jazzercize classes 3 days a week for 20 years;  on alternate days, 50-minute power walks.  Sinewy and fiercely strong, she could take on any challenge.  That her amazing strength outlasted her failing mind is a testament to maintaining a strong body.   Her will remained powerful to the end.

I wish I had remembered my own advice earlier this month when I injured my foot.  Although I'm happy for the rest and the space I created, adding a little yoga to my routine might be a good balance next time I'm in that situation.  Running for the first time yesterday reminded me how good it feels to use my body.  And today, each step brings a painful, yet welcome reminder of my personal strength.

We got away last week.  It was a wonderful, welcome campout although slightly different than our typical active vacations.   Due to my foot injury, hiking was not an option.  Afraid to stop moving I wondered, "What will it be like to camp for fours days with no hiking?"  Pre-departure I anticipated boredom, frustration and weight-gain and had a really bad attitude.  Knowing this was our only opportunity to recharge, I decided to pack as many journaling supplies as I could and optimistically envisioned hours of time to play. 

I packed a quilted, fabric journal that I made during an Artfest retreat.  The smaller size fit nicely in my tackle box along with the rest of my journaling kit.  I hadn't used this journal for more than 10 years.  When I made it my creative life was focused on art.   Due to a car accident I hadn't played my viola for nearly 3 years.  Depressed, suffering and living in a musical void I longed for happier times.  In the first dozen pages of my journal  I sketched dreams of health and happiness and musical goals.  And then I put it away for a decade.   A funny thing happened during that wait.  I stumbled across my journal last year, opened it and was astonished to see my dreams on paper.  As I turned each page I was more and more amazed--my dreams had all come true! 

It seems like this is a magic journal.  But I think every journal is magical.  Fill one with your dreams and watch them come true.  Work through your challenges.  Sketch your hopes.  Doodle your fantasies.  Then watch them come to life.  Like Harold and the Purple Crayon, you may be surprised and delighted by what comes out of your pen!

I just read What it Is by Lynda Barry and fell in love.  Read this book!  It is a fascinating creative journey; a "how to write" manual in journal form.  She journals her artistic journey beginning with childhood.  We see the dreaming, the questions the self-doubt and eventual confidence played out in her journal.  We see her become an artist.  During our trip I practiced one of her ideas, "keep your pen moving."  I sat under a tree to draw.  I drew all afternoon.  I refrained from judging my pages; I just drew.   It felt good.  I experimented with new styles and techniques and had a ball.  Barry talks about children's art, "when kids draw they make sound effects or start talking out a story that seems to be happening live."  The adult version of this is doodling.  "Doodles can be called mindless drawing.  It's one of the last places drawing still exists in a person who gave up on art long ago.  A place where one line can still follow another without plan." 

It turned out to be one of our better camping trips.  My take away from this vacation was I didn't have to be in constant motion.  It was enough for my pen to be in motion.  The last morning of our trip I remarked to my husband, "I've been so content and placid on this trip.   I think it's because of all the journaling."  His reply?  "Don't stop."

Do you journal?  If so, share your thoughts.  If not, head over to Creative Playground to find out more.

I've been making notes for this topic for quite some time.  For several weeks now I've come across objects that meant a lot to me.  At least, they used to mean a lot to me.  I began to wonder why I was hanging on so tightly--even to broken mementos.  My original concept was "letting go" which implies the release of non-essential holding/then relief.    Last week I recognized a twist which alters the exercise and affects the results.  The first scenario seems slightly negative.  Why not a creative approach?  How about making room or creating space to achieve a fruitful outcome?  

The end of school is an easy time for a test.  Changes are built into our schedules in the form of fewer obligations and longer, warmer days.  Last year at this time I first considered ending my youth orchestra.  Consuming much of my time for the past six years, the group was straining my resources.  Membership and funding were down significantly last season.  I asked myself a lot of serious questions but the crucial one was, "what would my life look like without it?"  After deciding to suspend operations until January, another opportunity came out of the blue.  It didn't take long to realize that working for someone else teaching elementary orchestra was more rewarding.  I closed one door; another one opened.

There are physical ways to create space.  Spring cleaning is a time-honored method for freshening a stagnant home.  The change from winter to summer means it's time to put away the bulky boots and sweaters and haul out lightweight shorts and sandals.  A new hairstyle or color might also make you feel lighter than air.  There are also emotional ways to create space.  The main one is….

Rest.  Slowing down is a great method--if, you can do it.  That's a big "if" for me.  Orchestras, classes, commitments and students had wrapped.  I had an opportunity to fine tune next season's workload and consider changes.  This was my time to take a closer look at my choices.  I should have had the time--instead I filled my schedule with exercise, errands, ...stuff.  I realized I was spinning my wheels just as fast but with different tasks.  In other words, I'd been running away from my breathing room and wasting precious time. 

Too bad I had to figure this out the hard way.  Instead of simply resting my body took over.  Colds, back pain, foot pain--all literally knock you off your feet making sure you slow down.  Apparently I really needed space because last week I injured my foot on a run.   After the initial frustration and considerable pain I wondered if this was just what I needed.  Fight it or accept?  Continue to clutter my head or be alone with my thoughts?  Now off my feet for a week and a half and counting there's time to soak in Epsom Salts and journal and think.   I created space and now I have the space to create.